The Bucket List, the Nectar List, and the In Between

By Rachel Rooney, Toppel Peer Advisor

C.S. Lewis once said, “You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream.” In our modern, progressive society, goals and dreams have become the fuel of our lives, and we culminate our hopes of what we would like to do into bucket lists. Most of us in college have them; I know I do! My own bucket list consists of 45 things, and most of the items involve traveling to different countries. Then, there are things I know I will accomplish, such as graduate college and learn how to ride a bike. It’s important to dream, but also to realize that what we dream of is imaginary, not yet real. That’s the difference between dreams and goals, in that with goals there is a plan of action that can produce a tangible result. A good way to set goals is to the use the SMART method—specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. On a daily basis, we set goals to help us be organized and efficient, but can also be applied to what we want to do in the future.

There will also be events and experiences that will just happen to us. Some of my best experiences were unplanned and spontaneous. It’s okay to give up having to plan everything out, because the truth is we cannot do everything. Maybe I will never make it to Thailand, and if I don’t it will be okay. We need to stop making these lists just so we can feel validated at the end of our lives and that we did something. It’s okay to not cross things off our lists, because that’s not the point of life. Instead, it is to enjoy the little moments. As Kurt Vonnegut said, "Enjoy the small things in life, because one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things." That’s why I’m an advocate for Nectar Lists.  It’s basically the opposite of a bucket list; instead of listing what we want to do before we kick the bucket, we list the things that have been the existence so far. The name comes from how sweet nectar is slang for “to live,” and as everyone knows “to kick the bucket” is slang for to die. I just added to my own nectar list that I got to stand on the football field with my student org at the Homecoming 2014 game at my alma mater. It was an amazing 30 seconds of my life. Just because you don’t do everything you want, doesn’t mean you didn’t live your best.

So what’s the In Between? It comprises mostly of giving up the idea that we will do everything and living in the present moment. Huffington Post argues against bucket lists, because they cause regret and negate spontaneous living. Some of those things that we’ve always wanted to do may not actually turn out the way we want and leave us disappointed. Not every moment in life is going to be good; there will be times of heartache and pain. My advice is to take the good along with the bad, both together. Because that’s life, and good moments do not always come in bulk, but in small doses. You just have to look out for them. 

Huffington Post’s article on 7 reasons not to make a bucket list is here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/21/throw-away-your-bucket-list_n_4466948.html

Day Dreaming in Ink’s original article on the Nectar List is here: http://daydreaminginink.wordpress.com/2014/07/06/the-nectar-list-2/

Be SMART, Avoid Feeling Overwhelmed

By Marian Li, Toppel Peer Advisor

Brand new school, brand new you. College is the time to make the saying “to each your own” come true. But new experiences can be a black hole filled with the unknown that snowballs to reduce even the most confident individual into an emotional basket case. Even if it’s not your first time, returning students can get caught up in the hubbub of campus life, forgetting the main reason we came to college in the first place. Students are here to continue their education and grow into mature adults, ready to take on the big world of work in whichever field of interest; we can’t very well prepare properly if we lose the goal in mind. So how can we circumvent the annual meltdown and stay sane?

Toppel’s been teaching students about time management efficiently to maximize the 24 hours allotted in the day. Succumbing to the overwhelming pressure is counterproductive. Students are tired of hearing this but prioritizing is a must! Achieving a system that works is difficult, but if you’re SMART about the goals you create, you will go into new responsibilities with the end in mind.

Specific – A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal. Spelling out the details removes any room for confusion or time wasted worrying about details along the way. To be specific, consider the six “W” questions (who, what, when, where, why, which).

Measurable – Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set. When you measure progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that boosts you motivation to reach your goal. Quantify your goals, ask “How much?” and “How many?” and the most important “How will I know when it is accomplished?”

Attainable – When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways to make them true. You develop the mindset, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. You begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals. 

Realistic – To be realistic, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work. A goal can be both high and realistic; you are the only one who can decide just how high to aim your goals. But just be sure that every goal represents substantial progress.

Timely/Tangible – A goal should be grounded within a time frame. With no time frame tied to it, there’s no sense of urgency. If you truly believe it can be accomplished, then your goal is realistic.

Take a moment to BREATH and enjoy the autonomy college gives you!